For years, I built my career within the walls of a massive global not-for-profit, a classic in-house journey. I was a director of comms, doing things I was good at, but beneath the surface, a different story was unfolding. The environment had become toxic, and it was slowly but surely undermining my confidence. When I finally made the brave decision to leave, I felt a strange mix of relief and terror. I was free, but also adrift, armed with a deep-seated self-doubt.

My initial plan was straightforward: find another job. I spent months in the desperate cycle of applications and interviews, and for the first time in my 25-year career, I was getting nowhere. “I wasn’t even getting an interview, let alone the job,” I remember thinking. The rejection felt personal. No matter how many people told me it wasn’t, it was me they were rejecting. It was a low moment, questioning everything I had done. “What am I doing wrong that they don’t want me?” I felt very low, especially with pressure from my family who just wanted to see me back in a job.

Finding My North Star

I had been following Advita Patel’s work for a while, a fellow Asian woman whose content resonated deeply with me. It was something she said that really stuck with me: “If something is toxic and hurting you, then leave.” That single thought catalysed my decision to quit my job. A few months later, still struggling with the job hunt, I realised I needed more than just a new job; I needed to rebuild my confidence.

I reached out, viewing the cost of coaching as a crucial self-investment. I was hesitant, but I knew I had to find a way to pay for it—”Thank God for credit cards,” I remember thinking. I initially thought she’d help me polish my CV, but what I got was so much more.

The coaching wasn’t just about finding a job; it was about finding me. We went deep, starting with a values exercise that was a huge “aha” moment for me. It was “really enlightening” and helped me understand why I had always been drawn to the not-for-profit sector, even if it meant less money than a corporate job.

The Shift from Freelancer to Business Owner

The biggest transformation wasn’t in my skill set; it was in my mindset. My focus shifted from “desperate for a job” to “building a business.” I told Advita, “I’ve always wanted to be a consultant,” and she simply said, “Okay, let’s get you there.”

My consultancy, VSComms, is founded on the belief that every mission-led organisation deserves communications that are strategic, inclusive, and effective. I now offer a flexible mix of services, from big-picture strategy to day-to-day delivery. This includes developing communication strategies that resonate, creating campaigns with heart and purpose, and crafting brands that speak clearly and inclusively. I also help with crisis communications and offer bespoke workshops and mentoring.

For the first time, I was able to stand my ground and assert my value. On a recent call with a potential client, I was asked to lower my rate because “the others said they’ll bring their costs down.” I never would have done this before, but this time, I confidently pushed back. I said, “This is what you’re getting from me. This is the experience you’re going to get… as a woman of colour, you’re getting a woman who understands their culture.” I still felt like the ball was in my court, and it felt amazing.

I also stopped calling myself a freelancer. “I’m not freelancing… This is my main business.” I’ve even started a podcast, which felt crazy to me when I first put the trailer on Spotify. These small victories are a testament to the fact that I’m now confidently running my own business.

What I’ve Learned

Leaving the comfort of an in-house role was one of the scariest but most rewarding decisions of my life. The journey has been challenging, but here’s what I’ve learned:

• Confidence isn’t a fixed state. It’s something you can build, nurture, and reclaim.
• Invest in yourself. The money I spent on coaching was the best self-investment I’ve ever made.
• Find a coach who gets it. Advita understood the cultural context behind my family’s “concern.” Having a safe space to talk about these things was crucial.
• Embrace the leap. The chaos of consulting is a small price to pay for the freedom, purpose, and confidence that come with running your own business.

My story is a testament to the fact that you can not only recover from a toxic work environment but also use it as a catalyst for something better. My “great leap” has taken me from a place of professional doubt to a space of personal and professional empowerment.